JTHM-X-lin Shodwn x-over p.1

“Let me the FUCK out of here, faggot!”
Johnny sighed tiredly. They always screamed, either in terror or in oblivious rage. Could they just once put some variety into it?
“You do not seem to be aware of your-

“The only thing I'm aware of is that I'm going to KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS when I get out of here!” the blond haired jock yelled, rattling the bars of his body-tight cage. Oddly difficult, considering his arms and legs were bound together. Nonetheless. Johnny casually picked up a rather rusty, jagged knife, and suddenly the jock was all manners and courtesy!
“Uh, hey man! I was just kidding! C'mon, let me out, please? Please, for the love of god, let me out!”
“Uh, I don't think so.” Johnny scowled, and lunged.

*BUZZ-AAAAAGHHH!*
He stopped, mid-stab, growling. He looked upwards in the direction of his door. Who in the hell was  at the door at-he checked his watch. 3AM. The question stood.
He turned calmly to the sobbing jock. He looked at him as if the man were a a piece of meat, and he a tethered dog. “I'll be right back.”

Johnny marched up the stairs fuming. Whoever was at the door was likely going to be soon wishing they hadn't. That was an understatement. They would more likely be begging for their lives over a pit of whirring blades. But, I digress.
He stopped halfway across the room. He needed a knife, and oddly, he had none on him for once. VERY out of character on his part. He pulled one of his hair stalks, scanning the room for a weapon.
His eyes fell on the dusty figures that were the Doughboys. He walked over, and holding Mr. Eff in place, removed the knife from the wall. He crossed the room, knife and Eff in hand, and slowly opened the door.

“What?”
__A little while earlier, elsewhere...

The sun was rising on the Xiaolin temple, and all was calm. Dew splayed the grass and stone pathways of the grounds, and crickets still chirped as night faded to the morn.
“HEY! Rise and shine, everyone, we got a Shen Gong Wu alert!” Dojo yelled, ringing a cow bel up and down the hall.
Raimundo rolled over, pillow on his face. He groaned. “Why does it have to reveal itself so early!?”
“Hey, Wu wait for no man! Come on, everyone up! We can have breakfast when we get back!”
-
Atop Dojo as he flew across the darkening sky (They were traveling to an earlier time zone) Dojo recited what Shen Gong Wu they were retrieving as they read the scroll along.
“The Anpu Scythe is one of the darker Shen Gong Wu,” he told them. “Basically, it cuts into another dimension, summoning Shadow Crows to do your dirty work. They aren't too friendly, I wouldn't make them deliver cookies to your granny!” he joked.
“Where is it exactly?” Kimiko asked.
“It's been moved from it's original spot, but I can still sense it pretty- oh, down there!” he exclaimed, flying down to a run down looking neighborhood. A boarded up house with no grass stood in front of them.
“It's in there, I think. In the basement, but it's there alright.” Dojo nodded. Omi ran to the door.
“Then let us retrieve it! I am certain that whoever lives here will be willing to give it once we have explained to them.”
“Does anyone even live here?” Ray noted. “Looks pretty abandoned.”
“Darn right.” Clay agreed. “Emptier than a drunk’s flask on New Year’s day.”
“If not, then it'll be easier to get it.” Kimiko nodded. Omi rang the bell.
-BUZZ-AAAAAGHHH!-
“What an odd doorbell.” he noted. If no one answers, then we know it is abandoned.”
“Or maybe they're, you know, sleeping? It's 3 in the morning here.” Ray reasoned.
The door opened, and a dark figure peered through the crack.
“What?”
-

Johnny was surprised by who was in front of him. Four teens, two Asian, one Latin, and a...cowboy? And there was some sort of gecko/salamander thing on the ground beside them. Well, seeing as they were kids, he probably wouldn't kill them. Probably.
“Sir, we are Xiaolin monks, and have come to retrieve a mystic artifact within your house. May we please come in?”
Johnny blinked. “Um...what?”
“Look, maybe it's best if you just let us in and get the Shen Gong Wu.” Dojo stated, crawling onto Omi's shoulder. Johnny blinked again.
“Uh, did that lizard just talk?” he asked.
“Dragon, thank you very much.” Dojo stated indignantly.
“Yes, sir, may we please enter?” Omi asked again.
“Uh, fine. But don't touch anything...” he mumbled. He must be crazier than he first thought.

Dojo led the way, sniffing the ground like a hound, and making several turns as they went farther into the basement. Thankfully, Johnny thought, they had not opened any rooms with people in them. If they did, they likely couldn't leave alive.
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” screamed a girl behind a door. Omi jumped.
“What on Earth was that!?”
Johnny thought quickly. “Uh, TV. I like horror movies...”
They seemed to except that story, and continued to a room containing boxes of bloody weapons.
“Dude, what the heck do you do for a living!?” Ray exclaimed. Johnny shrugged.
“Uh, I'm a butcher on the side. I like a little variety.” he technically wasn't lying.
“O...k.” Ray mumbled, noting a rather lethal looking sword.
“There's the Anpu Scythe!” Dojo exclaimed, pointing. In a box stood a rather intimidating looking scythe with a blade made of black metal and a red and grey swirled handle. Omi pulled it out, careful not to cut himself on the other knives.
“We thank you, kind sir, and must now leave.” Omi bowed. Johnny started.
“Wait, where do you think you're going with that!?”
“We must take this Shen Gong Wu to keep it from falling into evil hands!” Omi explained.
“Oh, no you don't, that's my favorite scythe!” He yelled, grasping the hilt and pulling. The two of them struggled over it.
“Wait!” Omi exclaimed. The scythe began to glow gold. “What is this?”
“What the hell?” Johnny reeled, still clutching to the scythe.
“It is a Xiaolin showdown!” Omi gasped.
-
To be continued. End part one of ???